No. 2                              The definitive family guide to what's going on!

Medical Corner

Richard's Arm Woes Continue

In spite of physical therapy, rest and drug treatment, Richard's arm remains sore. Surgical options have been discussed with doctors. The Trader Joe company could not be reached for comment on the situation.
Ralph reports that a wart on his index finger, which had turned black, has fallen off.


A series of ant infestations has hit the hillside home of Ralph and Janet. The vermin have been found in almost every room of the house - the kitchen sink being hit particularly hard.

It is hoped that a new round of treatment with ant stakes and traps will effect a solution.

chase the clown
Chase, before the skunk incident.

Chase Sprayed by Skunk
Effects could linger for six months

Chase, dog of Ralph and Janet, formerly owned by Laurie and Richard, was recently sprayed by a skunk. Although the spraying was not severe, the smell can still occasionally be detected on both Chase and his owners. Research indicates that the odor could last up to six months. The well-known tomato juice treatment has been attempted, with little success. A thorough cleaning is planned to coincide with the next scheduled flea treatment.

Television Troubles

Both Laurie and Ralph have reported serious television problems this week.

Laurie's big TV, which had been experiencing problems for a while, finally went completely "on the Fritz". The set from the bedroom was used as a substitute, but was rendered useless in an unfortunate accident involving a cable line being left connected while the TV was being physically transported. The six inch black and white set now serves as the main television.

Meanwhile, at Ralph's place, the giant TV, which has been laboring under severe problems for over two years, suffered another setback. Late last Saturday afternoon it became apparent that no audio was available. Further tests seem to have demonstrated, however, that the problem lies not in the TV, but in the stereo amplifier, which is only a few years old, and out of which many more years of service were expected.

Ralph Gets Job
Long Unemployment Ends

Ralph's twenty-month unemployment has come to an end. The Accountemps agency has placed him at the TVN Entertainment Corporation. The assignment started on July 18, and is expected to last either "as long as [Ralph] can stand it", or "until something better comes along."

It is speculated that the new job will free up time for other projects, such as updating The Aulenta Gazette while ostensibly working.

Ralph Runs Into Amy and Ben at Vons
Ralph ran into Amy and Ben at Vons.
Anne On New Project
Anne has been hired to work on a new movie, a substantial portion of which is scheduled to be filmed at the world famous Universal Studios. Principal photography is to start on August 6.

The job is pegged to last through the fall.

Click here for archived version of Aulenta Gazette No. 1